Dating and its Complexities

I have a philosophy as far as dating goes.

I don't believe in the term "dating". I think it puts too much pressure on both parties to impress the other, get to know each other, etc. I believe it should just flow. When I meet a guy and we hang out, I take it just as that, we're hanging out, I don't look at it as anything romantic.

I have quite a few guy friends so once in awhile, a conversation about dating philosophies will come up in discussion. Three of my guy friends recently bought up interesting points or questions that caught my attention.

#1: A guy friend asked me if I ask a guy (friend or otherwise) to hang out do I have an interest in him. Apparently this specific guy friend, and other guys I know, feel that if a girl asks him to hang out she's showing she's interested. Personally I have no problem asking a guy to hang out if I feel like doing something that I know he may be interested in doing. It doesn't mean that I'm interested, but apparently many guys have a completely different thought process on that. Keep that in mind next time you ask a guy to hang out.

#2 Another guy friend asked me if I will hang out with a guy I have no romantic interest in. This is a different variation from the first question because he is referring to if a guy asks me to hang out will I go even if I'm not interested in him romantically. If I know the guy is interested in me and I know that nothing will ever happen, I probably won't go unless we've had the whole "we're just friends" talk. Otherwise, of course I'll go. I see no problem hanging out with a guy even if I'm not interested . One of my best friends is a guy and we say "I love you" to each other. It doesn't mean that we're interested in being romantically involved. Many women have guy friends they like just as that, friends, and nothing more.

#3 Another guy friend brought up the fact how a girl may kiss a guy just because she finds him attractive and not necessarily because she's interested in being with him. Apparently he's confused as far as how to handle those situations because he doesn't know whether or not she's actually into him. Basically I told him that he can't plan out everything and to take things day by day. Going with the flow is important, if you try to rush things or dissect every little thing it could ruin what's already there. Have I kissed guys that I thought were attractive but I had no interest in being in a relationship with? Absolutely. I've done it recently actually. Please refer to this previous post that I did- specifically to reasons 2-5 and 7-8. There's also the reason that, simply put, it just wouldn't work.

My girlfriend referred to me as the dumbest smart person she knows. Apparently her, and many other friends, agree that I'm fantastic at giving others romantic advice but as far as me, I have zero idea when a guy is interested in me unless he spills out his feelings on a silver platter. It's actually caused arguments where the guy said "How did you not KNOW!" My response..."You didn't tell me. I don't assume anything and you shouldn't either. "

Guys will think I'm interested when, in reality, I'm not. This has caused numerous problems. If the guy assumes without getting the facts first, as bad as I feel, that's his own fault and not mine. I'll text back and forth with a guy all day, send him a link that I think he may find amusing, tell him he looks attractive in a sweater or hang out with him on a Saturday night. This definitely does not mean that I want anything more than a friendship. I don't feel like I should have to watch every single move I make to ensure that the guy won't get the wrong idea. Everyone things differently so to have to do that would be exhausting. The way I look at it, if the guy wants to know, he'll find out somehow, whether it be from you or one of your friends.